The Need Weed

What do we need? Okay. Let's see. You don't want to wake up in the morning to find that notorious fibre-from-last-night's-dinner sticking between your teeth. But life's not generous. You hope that the company that manufactures dish scrubbers takes over Pepsodent. But no! You cast a needy, impoverished glance at the scotch-brite in the bathroom. You choose to be a civilised human being. You let the fibre stay. You read about the 12 year old who was put away for sodomy in the news paper while sipping coffee. You want more. More sugar in your coffee. But then, you remember coming across 'sugar high' in the Urban Dictionary. You decide to leave sodomy for 12 year olds. You text your girl friend to apologise for being a pain in the pumpkin, but you realise your need is getting over you. So you stop beginning to give up. You give up texting her. You go to college only to find that you totally forgot about that Physics assignment that your favorite hairy halloween structure asked you to submit. You NEED it in 10 seconds. You NEED the time to stop. NOW. You blame your karma and wish you had sent that god forsaken text. It's evening and you walk back home with high-pitched ringing noise still crooning in your ears. You are in desperate NEED of some real refreshment. You try surfing porn, end up with a puke face watching all the plastic ramming against each other. You sense something happening down there. Growling stomach. You need food. You watch Fear Factor as you eat. The worms on TV squirm more than the plastic pornstars. You don't care. You keep chomping. You STOP. Something squimy touches your tongue. You make that puke face again. You stop again. You start chomping again when you realise that the squirmy thingy is just the fibre-from-last-night's-dinner. You think you definitely NEED that scoth-brite now.

You don't need to know what happened next. = |