lost

Even this time, when I met her, I was still deeply, madly and hopelessly in love with her. She was painfully beautiful for my eyes. Until I had been far away, I desperately wanted to be with her. Now that I was with her, I wanted to go far off. It was the unfortunate inevitability that I would lose her very soon that was doing this to me. She taunted me unknowingly and I suffered quietly. When she would laugh the world around became invisible and she would become the world to my eyes. Her speech was like a mild poison that slowly ascended my veins. I'd say - If the sound of wind chimes ever were a girl, it would have been her. A few days back I didn’t really believe in the four lettered crap called ‘love’ at all. But now, all those romantic renditions, poems and songs seem to make sense to me. This time we went on a walk together and nothing had mattered to me until she was talking. I just didn’t listen to what she said. I was just staring at her so lost that it was not until she asked me - “what are you thinking of? You don’t seem to be listening to Me.” that I got back to my senses. She always threw me into that thin line which separated confusion and comprehension. It was around her that vibes of various emotions hit me with full force. When I was so lost in her that reality slashed me hard – she did not belong to me. Why does reality always have to be so cruel? Why are all the formulations in the society against one’s wishes? She was the princess to me - a princess of an intertwined emotion which was a lethal mixture of love and agony. She always seemed to me as the most delicate thing in this universe and I always wanted to protect this slender being. But my love was only like a shadow which followed her unnoticed and would soon perish unnoticed. On the day when she would be give herself away to someone else, I would run away far off from her and would never let her know that I possessed her in my dreams and she would never know string of love I possessed for her went unconnected from her end. I definitely know I can cope up without her but the blank in me would not be filled ever…