19 April 2008
10: 20 p.m.
I’ve heard many people around me reverberate the saying - never take a step back when you have started your journey. Well, what if the road ahead is blocked? What if we stand defenseless against the infinite might of the wind of circumstances that is pushing you behind? What if we tried, tried and tried again and failed every time? What if our own efforts mock at us? There seem to be millions of these unanswered questions lingering above me.
I’ve been this way all through my life. I tend to learn from my mistakes. But there has always been a hint of ignorance in the knowledge I acquired from my mistakes. This lead to more mistakes and the chain continued. Hence, these series of mistakes I made erased my perfection.
It is not easy being me. I am a world within myself. Losing interest is a common trait in existence but losing faith in existence itself is a failure of your complete self. This is what happens to me often and every time I fall I try to gather myself up ignoring the mockery my mind subjects me to, but I tend to crumble further, subsiding like a dry sand hill.
The oneness is fading away in the world we have built. We are not allowed to retaliate when we cannot take it anymore in what seems to be a hybrid world, which is an amalgam of vindictive qualities. All these knit to my life, the deadly inability, for which I am blamed in turn. There is no place left in my life for myself as hollowness has filled it entirely. There is a battle raging within myself, with myself, in order to sustain myself. A rugged feature of mine called the ‘persistence’ is the only shimmer of hope for me to protect my existence and stand my ground while I safeguard my very identity.
10: 20 p.m.
I’ve heard many people around me reverberate the saying - never take a step back when you have started your journey. Well, what if the road ahead is blocked? What if we stand defenseless against the infinite might of the wind of circumstances that is pushing you behind? What if we tried, tried and tried again and failed every time? What if our own efforts mock at us? There seem to be millions of these unanswered questions lingering above me.
I’ve been this way all through my life. I tend to learn from my mistakes. But there has always been a hint of ignorance in the knowledge I acquired from my mistakes. This lead to more mistakes and the chain continued. Hence, these series of mistakes I made erased my perfection.
It is not easy being me. I am a world within myself. Losing interest is a common trait in existence but losing faith in existence itself is a failure of your complete self. This is what happens to me often and every time I fall I try to gather myself up ignoring the mockery my mind subjects me to, but I tend to crumble further, subsiding like a dry sand hill.
The oneness is fading away in the world we have built. We are not allowed to retaliate when we cannot take it anymore in what seems to be a hybrid world, which is an amalgam of vindictive qualities. All these knit to my life, the deadly inability, for which I am blamed in turn. There is no place left in my life for myself as hollowness has filled it entirely. There is a battle raging within myself, with myself, in order to sustain myself. A rugged feature of mine called the ‘persistence’ is the only shimmer of hope for me to protect my existence and stand my ground while I safeguard my very identity.
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