The Morning Saga

The alarm shook me awake from beneath my pillow. (At a notorious fifty hertz perhaps) Cell phone alarms! If it were not for the snooze button, they would have been the most ruthless of anthropogenic creations, only next to reality shows. After forty minutes of more ‘snoozing,’ until it was illegal to call it forty winks anymore, I tumbled out of my bed like one of those semi-bent caveman who features somewhere in the middle of the stages-of-human-evolution picture. (Guess what, I had a toothbrush as a substitute for the club!) It didn’t take long for me to get all straightened up. One glance at the watch was all it took. I had just enough time to finish my ablutions when there were three more chapters to “mug up!” I hoped I vanished or was abducted by slimy paramecium-like aliens with cilia-laden tentacles. Then I stuck to vanishing. : | Then, I made a crash-course plan to finish all three chapters and still have time to check mail. All this ate up more time and I had to revamp the whole plan to two chapters and checking mail. (Well, I had no choice! : \) By the time it was fifteen minutes to go, I had to rush to bathroom abandoning the chapter that was half done. Almost. While in the bath, I prioritized, and scrubbed only some of the VIPs. (Very Important Places : \) Then I whooshed out looking like a semi-clad model running away from a bikini shoot. Still in the skimpy bath towel, I searched for my cell phone. Shelf-to-shelf, on the computer table, on the diwan, at every wire ending… I even opened the refrigerator door and slapped my forehead! Then I slapped my forehead again and ran to the bedroom. There it was, beneath the pillow! Within five minutes, I had to getclothedstuffmybagskipbreakfastrunhelterskelter and scurry out only to run like I was being chased by rabid hyenas (making calls and sending texts meanwhile) to get into the bus while I almost missed it!
I was breathing again!
But I knew I had forgotten something! I hadn't checked my mail!